Help Wanted: Head Coach, Philadelphia Flyers Job Title:Head Coach (Professional Scapegoat for Comcast) Location:Philadelphia, PA — where patience is thinner than a cheesesteak wrapper and rage is a second language. You’ll find Philadelphia to be a welcoming community — especially if you enjoy being booed at your own home games, receiving unsolicited line-change advice from […]
Sidney Crosby Stares Into the Void As Penguins Hit Reset
Hockey is Eternal – Coaches Are Not In a move that surprised literally nobody except maybe a few penguins at the zoo, Pittsburgh and head coach Mike Sullivan have “mutually agreed to part ways.” Which is corporate HR code for, “We handed him a cardboard box and pointed at the door.” Kyle Dubas, General Manager […]
The Chicago Cubs Really SUCK
Last night, the Chicago Cubs put on a masterclass on how not to play baseball. Effectively turning their game into a comedy of errors that left fans wondering if they were witnessing a major league team or a blooper reel in real-time. The Chicago Cubs Really SUCK! I Bet OVER 7.5 Last Night Giants’ Michael […]
Bobrovsky’s Goalie Guide: Skipping Practice and Finding Zen, One Air Guitar Solo at a Time
Panthers’ Bobrovsky Embraces Unique Training Regimen Ahead of Game 7 As the tension mounts in the NHL playoffs, Florida Panthers goalie Sergei Bobrovsky took an unconventional approach to prepare for Game 7 against an unnamed opponent—by skipping practice altogether. In a move that left fans scratching their heads and his teammates chuckling nervously. Bobrovsky opted […]
Sticky Situation: Edwin Díaz Gets Caught Red-Handed (Literally)
Ah, the saga of sticky stuff in baseball strikes again, this time taking Mets closer Edwin Díaz on a wild ride at Wrigley Field. Picture this: a breezy evening, a game against the Cubs, and Díaz ready to seal the deal in the ninth inning with a comfy 5-2 lead. But hold your horses, folks, […]